Who hasn’t dreamt of living a different life? Having a break from the same old same old. Living other daily experiences. More adventure. Or just dipping a toe into a parallel world. I think about it all the time. That’s why I started my initiative I have called “SWAP YOUR LIFE”.
My “Swap Your Life” proposition is fairly simple: Change the location you live in, swap your house with mine and share your habits, your environment, your friends. Hence, in some sort of way live another person’s life.
My friend N. stopped me right here in my tracks commenting wryly: “You rather mean swapping lifestyles, don’t ya?” Touché. That’s the less dramatic version. Yet, let’s indulge in a bit of drama, shall we? So let me share the tale of my first “Life Swap”. It happened in Lisbon.
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The idea isn’t new. My twist is the individual mix of familiar elements. It’s like Airbnb staying with locals, yet without the rental costs. It’s like HomeExchange experiencing authentic living spaces, yet it’s not only for vacation. It’s like Tinder meeting someone new, yet no sexual awkwardness.
By and large, I want affordable travelling and a genuine place to stay. Above all, I want to be stimulated by my “Life Swapper’s” universe of existence. Truth to be told, I am a relentless searcher for inspiration how to design one’s life. How do people live their lives? Do they have rewarding routines? Are they inspired by the environment they live in or are we all eventually numbed by any surroundings, independent how breathtakingly exciting they are?
Finding contentment is a big topic for me. Can I find fulfilment in a life design option I haven’t even considered yet? This is my quest and I hope to come closer to answers through my “Swap Your Life” project.
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My first Life Swap was some weeks ago with Sara. It was the beginning of summer and I came to Lisbon.
Sara is a Portuguese Millennial, works in a creative agency and muses about modern love. Sara was born and raised in Lisbon. I grew up in rural Germany, live in London, perceive myself as an analytical pragmatist and reside firmly in the Gen X bracket. We met in the virtual world of an online group. We hit it off right away and connected through our professional experience and interests. We both had worked in the media scene, loved writing and felt at crossroads in our paths of life.
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Originally, we had just planned on having a coffee when one of us would be around our respective hubs. Yet, as always, life happened. Sara changed her job unexpectedly and I was about to travel to Lisbon. Dates coincided and so our first attempt on a Life Swap date was an almost impromptu affair. And part of the adventure.
After connecting through text messages, we had a video chat. Some small talk, showing us around our homes and exploring what makes the other person tick. We spoke for almost 45 minutes and spontaneously decided: Yes, let’s do this. Four days later, I was in Lisbon.
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It is weird and empowering and quirky. You command an Uber at the bus station of Lisbon’s Sete Rios (the “Seven Rivers” bus station) and you feel local. You are not going to some hotel or commercialised abode as everyone else. No, Madam, you are going to a distinct place of a real person in a genuine neighbourhood.
I was headed to an area called “Graça”, part of the São Vicente district. Located in Lisbon’s historic center, Graça is just north of the “Alfama” quarter where both Fado (a distinct Portuguese music style) and Madonna (the American songstress with an interest in Portugal due to her football loving son) reside. Uff, I had arrived.
I opened the door with the key waiting for me in a safe, hence secret, place. I wasn’t sure what 1FRT meant. Ah, alright, first floor centre flat (= frente = FRT). Got ya. Complicated old lock, needed to turn it three times until the mechanism opened the heavy door. When entering, I stood in a wooden floored hallway dividing its path to the right into a cosy bohemian living room with an old sofa, a bookshelf full of Portuguese and English literature and a quaint writing table. Then there was an oddly shaped kitchen, a functional bathroom with a much-welcomed bathtub and a super cosy bedroom with a balcony overlooking a quiet street within otherwise bustling central Lisbon.
I did like the ceiling to floor windows. I always think this ceiling-to-floor-window-slash-door set up is such an easy trick to make a space feel more open and connected to its world around. Yet, not many purpose-built houses make use of it.
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Lisbon’s district of Graça has some touristy spots with an amazing viewpoint over the picturesque city centre and the mighty Tagus River. Yet, in its fringes, Graça is an authentic Lisbon neighbourhood. Normally priced restaurants, vibrant shops, arty bits and pieces and I’d say one of the funkiest “Lidl” grocery shopping facilities (Rua Maria da Fonte) I have ever seen.
What did I exactly do during my “Life Swap” days? Sara gave me loads of hints so I did walk my feet off to explore the area during scorching summer heat. Not the “Secret Garden Bar” any more, but the new hotspot was “Miradouro Monte Agudo”. A coffee (only on Monday morning) at the “Copenhagen Santa Clara” terrace. And the “Micro Padaria” for 100% rye bread.
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The next day, I took part in a metal welding course. Yes, you have read that correctly. For whatever reason, I had booked this metal-working seminar happening in Lisbon’s hyper creative district of “Marvila”. It was a fun and hands-on workshop in a quirky co-working art space called “Fabrica Moderna”. I am convinced this up-and-coming area of Lisbon will soon be victim (or glory, depends on perspective) of property developers. It won’t exist anymore like this in 5 years’ time so take a good look if you are around those days.
Finishing my welding workshop on a Saturday at 6PM, I decided it was high time for a beer. I went to one of the few local bars there and sat outside with my trophy bottle of beer on a pragmatic plastic chair next to a pragmatic plastic table. Wow, it’s like “Flashdance”, innit?
Enjoying my beer was interrupted by a harsh “Oi, can you call me a taxi, please?” After clarifying I wasn’t an employee but a client enjoying a beverage, the tall dark handsome stranger with slurry French accent asking me for a taxi was apologetic. “So sorry, I didn’t realise you didn’t work here”.
Boah, off you go, how rude. Get your taxi somewhere else. I did not understand why this lad didn’t get an Uber. So easy in Lisbon. Anyway, I needed to clear my head after this intense day so I decided to walk back the 50 minutes from Marvila to my life-swap-flat in Graça. A good evening. It was mild, and it was only about 7PM.
Suddenly the French accent taxi-searching tall guy bumps into me after I had walked for 10 minutes.
People pleasing as I am, I don’t want the situation to be awkward so I just say “Oh, you haven’t found a taxi yet” thinking to myself “OMG, please don’t ask me to get you an Uber on my account”.
So, I just keep on walking and the bloke keeps on walking, too. My first reaction was: Urgh, who are you? Telling myself how weird this situation was. I was tired, I was still dressed in a dirty boiler suit (from the welding course), I have had a beer, I was hungry and then there was this guy walking with me. Like a pilgrimage. Ironically, after all, we were following one of the routes of the famous “Camino de Santiago”, a network of pilgrims’ ways, known in English as the “Way of St James”.
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I started small talk. What’s your name? “Karim”.
Where are you from? “I am from Paris”.
Right, so what are you doing here? “I am on vacation”.
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Long story short, this guy was completely out of it. Party all night. Bloodshot eyes hid by massive shades. He was so disoriented he walked with me all the way back to central Lisbon telling me his life story. About his dedicated Turkish immigrant parents, his hard work as a Paris based architect-slash-developer, his divorce due to his alleged philandering, his thirst for life and travelling. All along the way we walked (still the Pilgrims way), I was thinking: Dude, why are you telling me all this stuff. Are you making this up? What the hell is your agenda?
Then, suddenly, I stopped. He offered a cigarette. And while I was smoking, I thought: Woman, for crying out loud, stop being so judgmental! This guy is just talking and has shown impeccable manners. As long as a person doesn’t threaten you, and you can walk away from a conversation, there is only one question to be answered: Are you interested to listen, or not? Okay, this is a strange situation, but so is life and this is what you were looking for. A world of different experiences and life stories!
So I continued to listen, asked questions and learnt about someone else’s life. We had a bite to eat when reaching central Lisbon and finally parted at a taxi rank. I walked back to my swapped-life-flat in Graça and checked in for my flight later on. He wrote to me on WhatsApp the other day, I never responded.
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While flying out from Lisbon’s Humberto Delgado Airport, I suddenly remembered what my good friend M. said some time ago: “It helps me to remind myself that we are made up of so many identities.” Back then, I first was perplexed. What did she mean? “Look at us for example”, she continued, ”we are more than just a bunch of crazy hyper-efficient urban workaholics. We just have been training ourselves over years to only be one version of ourselves.”
This is exactly what I felt during my first Life Swap stay in Lisbon. I didn’t only shuffle my deck of experience cards in a fresh and random new way, but I noticed another nuance of my personality I’d like to nurture: Less planning, more flow.
What’s yours?