Sober is the new drunk

“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

The infamous quote by notorious writer, sportsman and hard core drinker Ernest Hemingway sounds badass, witty, swanky. Aaah, so cool! Except that it isn’t.

Reality is this quote exposes an arrogant s** show, most probably fuelled by low self esteem and self doubt. 

In most cases we drink to numb stress, to conquer boredom or to easily facilitate social connection, the famous shortcut of meeting people supported by a socially accepted lubricant. And you know what? Fine! Why not, let’s cut us all some slack. We all have our ups and downs, our good times and not so good times. It’s the human experience on our path to fulfilment and pursuit of happiness. Independent of how happiness or fulfilment might look and feel differently for every one of us.

A glass of delicious wine to accompany your lunch like our French or Italian friends practise, a good gin & tonic as aperitif before dinner, a glass of champagne with the dark chocolate and strawberries. Perfect! Done with moderation, it’s an enrichment of your culinary life experience.

Exploring the more practical side of things: Ever been at one of those unavoidable business dinners where you feel so out of place as the (mainly male) counterparts have quite a different idea of what constitutes a good conversation? Have a drink (actually several), great, it will ease the appreciation of the boring stuff thrown at you! Works every time.

Bit of a bump on the road of life? A drink, just to cheer you up again. 

The client somehow signalised the deal could eventually happen? Hurray, let’s celebrate with a cheeky drink, cheers to that. 

You don’t quite know the people you were invited to sit with at a dinner party? Well, nothing several drinks cannot fix to overcome the awkwardness. 

Bit bored on the weekend? Ha, won’t hurt to meet the guys in the pub for a drink, it’s the weekend after all.

Issues arise though if you have a rather binary idea when it comes to drinking. Moderation? Sometimes. If it’s rather: More more more, don’t stop the fun, you’re in trouble.

But then there are some people telling you they are having a relaxed relationship to drinking. Aha. The famous “relaxed“ relationship to alcohol. Who has a relationship to alcohol? Good for them and my next question would be: How do you do it to overcome daily frustation? And what is YOUR poison then?

Every escape from reality will be taking its toll. Alcohol is a particular one. It has been so anchored in human history as ritual and facilitator of social connection, and it is so readily available in our current society set up, it’s just not that easy to avoid. It’s not like you are snorting heroin in a corner of the street. Oh sweet Jesus, no, alcohol is an accepted part of every day’s life experience.

However let’s face the facts: Alcohol is a depressant to begin with and in the aftermath of consumption it screws with your head. If applied in rather large amounts, it literally rewires your brain. An exaggerated intake of alcohol during an extended period of time will ultimately affect a person’s mood, it will influence their thinking and change their behaviour. That’s in its core why alcoholism is defined as mental illness.

Ever encountered any of those quizzes or mini surveys you see in magazines or when browsing the net (and of course, you completed them!) to just roll your eyes when done? 10 signs showing you are drinking too much. 5 ways of telling you have a drinking problem. 7 things you need to do when you are trying to quit drinking (too much).

Yep, done that, been there. Yet, did it change anything? Truth is you’ll only change your approach if there’s anything worth while changing. A threat to your life, your health, your relationships, your job. That’s I guess how human beings are wired, we only act when the house is on fire and you get burned .. and survive, that is.

So here’s the good news: If your drinking level hasn’t reached the serious psychological or physical dependency abyss, truth is then that too-much-maybe-even-heavy drinking is just a bad habit. A ritual. A fall back position. A self-deceiving coping mechanism. If it is clear to you that habit “Drinking” is a cul-de-sac, one direction, no way out other than return, but you still had to try it out, then we are good. You are ready for the next chapter. Otherwise, to be clear, you are screwed.

If you manage not to drink for only a month, the results are amazing: You are clear, you don’t need to strategise any more about stupid stuff like: Uh, so, what can or better can’t I do the next day because I am hangover, and wow, no need to postpone that call any more, much more energy and patience to listen. And fantastic, I still remember all the stuff this cute guy actually told me when speaking to him at this night out.

Let’s see if I can break a bad habit. Just to try and see how I feel. Maybe I’ll find out it’s not for me and I do like drinking? I guess it’s as they say: The proof of the pudding is in the eating. 

As I am writing this, I just lighted a cigarette. Can’t do it all at once now, can you then?